Ultimate Reality Television

By and large I can't stand most of the alleged "reality television."  I will admit to shouting at the tv during Top Chef and Chopped, but most of the reality shows I purposely skip.  It's not reality, it's cherry-picked dramatic moments of set-up shows.  I'm not saying that Top Chef and Chopped are any less cherry-picked dramatic moments of set-up shows, they are exactly the same.  But if the genre exists and dominates most television programming these days, I should at least find a show that is part-way palatable.  And cooking is at least a real skill, and can possibly teach me something I didn't already know,  or inspire me to do something different for dinner one night.

But as far as reality television goes, I have found something much better than any currently produced show.  I have become addicted to Parliament Question Time.  It really is the ultimate reality television.  In fact, I am truly surprised some network executive has not capitalized on it already.

Every day Parliament is in session, there is a period for "Questions Without Notice," where questions are asked of the Ministers about their portfolios.  The questions run the gamut from: "Would the Minister for School Education, Early Childhood and Youth, update the house on the efforts to improve education for Australia's children?" to "Would the Prime Minister please update the house on the status of the investigation regarding the convicted terrorist who was detained in minimum security for over seven months before being moved to a more secure facility?"

Usually no real answers are given, but then again, no real questions are ever asked either, so it hardly matters.  It's pure theater and I eat it up.  Every day Parliament is in session, I drop everything to sit glued to the tv for an hour and 15 minutes as the ABC broadcasts the next episode of this ultimate reality television series.

It's an hour and a quarter of elected officials sniping at each other.  I am fully aware that the politicians are aware they are on national television, and play that fact up.  I have seen broadcasts from Parliament outside of Question Time and it's about as exciting as you would expect it to be, which is to say that paint drying or grass growing would beat it walking away in the Nielsen ratings.  But the pomp, circumstance and general ridiculousness of Question Time is captivating.  I actually find myself planning my day around the broadcast.  I have gotten to know the characters, and can even predict the plot of the day based on the first question.  If I drank more frequently, I could even develop a drinking game based on the predictable nature of the drama.

This week is the last sitting week of Parliament before the September Elections and as such, is the last week I'll have with the current cast.  I will truly miss the Speaker of the House.  She is the reason I tune in daily.  I wish I had thought sooner to keep a running tally of the number of times she rolls her eyes at comments made during the Questions and Answers.  Her personality is great and really makes the series.  I will be truly sorry when Parliament sits again and someone else occupies her chair of judgment.

I will not miss the Opposition Leader.  I am so ready to get rid of him (and hope that the good people of the electorate of Warringah vote to remove the pox from office so that he cannot threaten anyone ever again).

Nor will I miss the annoying Manager of Opposition Business.  I am positive that when he was in school, the Manager of Opposition Business strove to be Teacher's Pet, the kind of student who wrote down the names of all his classmates talking while the Teacher was out of the room, and the right there with the list when she came back in to tattle on everyone else.

I will not really miss the pinch-faced Leader of the House, or the head-nodding yes-men sitting directly behind him.  They really don't add anything to the plot and are forgettable -- so forgettable, even after looking them up on the House seating chart, I could not tell you who they are!

I am sorry to see the season of Question Time come to a close.  I've come to look forward to it, and will definitely be sad about the cast changes for next season.  Perhaps Question Time is much like Doctor Who in that every now and then the Doctor regenerates into a new and completely different Doctor played by a new and completely different actor.  After September, the roles will continue on uninterrupted, but there will be new and completely different actors in the roles.  It will take some getting used to.

Maybe next season, a major network will pick up my beloved Question Time and give it the chance it needs to expand as the pre-eminent Reality Series.  I am sure, given that opportunity, the good people of Australia will embrace Question Time the same way they have embraced such series as The Biggest Loser, MasterChef, and The Voice.  It would certainly be more reality than any of those.  And the good people of Australia pick not only just the winner on Question Time; they pick the ENTIRE CAST!!!!!  (And I am begging to you, residents of the Electorate of Warringah, to do the right thing and please pick a new cast member.)  If given a better time slot and full-on blitz media campaign, in the next season, discussions of Question Time could take their precedence over office water coolers and back fences.  The end result would be a better-educated populace.  And maybe that's not such a bad thing, considering that the voting for this reality show is compulsory.